I was very motivated when I first posted on my blog but life has happened. My motivation was turned down a few notches since my initial posts. I have been dealing with a lot of sibling rivalry and regular mommy duties and my energy level has dropped. I still have my two cups of
coffee a day to keep my going, but not enough to get my thoughts together and post.
Recently I have been faced with sibling rivalry amongst my two girls. My seven yr old is the middle child and I understand her position in wanting to protect her space, territory and possessions. My 4 yr old looks up to her sister and wants to do everything she does. My 4 yr old wants everything my 7 yr old has (Hello Kitty, Care Bears, Polly Pocket, and her clothing). It is difficult to get my 4 yr old to respect her sisters things. So I usually ask my 7yr old to be patient and be the peace maker by sharing her things. My 7 yr old doesn't agree with this idea so then I have two DD that are constantly battling over toys, clothes, space, and attention. I have been buying the same clothes and toys for them to avoid this conflict but it doesn't matter.
The summer has been to long. These constant conflicts have really drained me emotionally as well as physically.
I have found a few resources that provide ideas on how to cope with this matter. In an effort to manage these issues better I have devised a plan. Also since the kids will go back to school in a few days this will also help in the transition process. Last year I did coupons that they could earn and then redeem for a privelege and it worked so long as I followed through. Hopefully this plan works.
I found behavior charts at Behavior Charts.com and printed them out. This particular chart tracks daily tasks such as hygiene, chores, and homework. I added a few things to customize for each child. I specifically want to work on conflict resolution with DD who is 7. I also want to work on listening with my 4yr old. My 9 yr old is easy going and willing to cooperate for the most part. This will help him with organization.
I devised a reward system to go with this behavior tracking system. This chart allows me to identify weaknesses and praise strength in a more productive manner. I have found that my dear children tend to have a better attitude when they are praised for doing normal day to day tasks. This tool will allow more opportunities for that. The reward system is as follows ( you can customize yours to fit your children personality etc...) :
If child completes daily tasks completely then they can earn the following
4 days out of 7 days completed all tasks = Ice cream treat
5 days out of 7 days completed all tasks = choice of movie from netflix or red box
6 days out of 7 days completed all tasks = $ 2
7 days out of 7 days completed all tasks = Meal at choice of restaurant and all of the above
I came up with the above during an evening of high stress and tension so I may have to make adjustments as I go. Micromanaging little ones is no easy task. Breastfeeding and changing diapers was a piece of cake compared to this stage in child rearing ( for me anyway). Here are pics of the charts I came up with. I used clip art to make the reward chart.
I laminated these charts so that after every week I can reuse. I introduced this to my kids on monday so this is day two. We had a family meeting and explained how it works. Overall the reception was positive and my kids have completed many of the tasks but have yet completed all of them in one day. They are striving to get them all done by the third attempt. I feel this tool is a step in the right direction for now!
